TOUCH THE FLAME

If I ever get married, I want to make sure that the Pet Shop Boys medley of Where the Streets Have No Name/Can't Take My Eyes Off You is on the soundtrack.

And I want dry ice.

And lasers. Lasers that spell out "Happy Wedding" in elaborate script.

Plus I want to walk around the reception hall from table to table with a butane torch in my hand, lighting the candle in each centerpiece.

Then I want there to be a giant candle surrounded in a heart shape by smaller candles, which are connected by tissue paper. And I want to light one of the candles at the bottom of the heart and watch the flames travel up both sides until all of the smaller candles are lit.

And I want the giant candle to have a wick that burns all sparkly red when you first light it.

And then I want to hear someone talk about "the future world."

Kind of like these crazy kids...

ONE GIANT LEAP

OK, it's a day late for this, I know, but... THE MOON IS FREE, BITCHES!

BOY IN A BOX

Boombox collectors (for yes, there is such a thing) call this their Holy Grail:




Well, slap my ass and call me Jesus— that’s my teenage box!

I went to the Walt Whitman Mall with Nancy one day, and bought it for $200 at Crazy Eddie’s across Route 110. Didn’t have a dime left after that purchase, so we had to scrounge around for change to make two fares on the N-79 bus. We begged from strangers, and dipped into the fountain in front of Macy’s for nickels.

I can still feel the tiny yet perceptible clicks as you pushed the volume slider up:

No future (click) No future (click) No future for youuuuu…

TO BE A ROCK AND NOT TO ROLL

I created a Classic Rock playlist in iTunes the other day.

So far, there are just two residents: Stairway to Heaven and Roundabout.

I listened to Stairway last night. Probably the first time in 25 years or so that I’ve listened to it all the way through. Definitely the first time I’ve ever listened through headphones. So my ears were relatively fresh.

Well, let’s just say my mind wandered. All the mock pomp and mock circumstance left me for-real bored.

Roundabout fares better. You really believe these cosmic warriors are invested in the mountains coming out of the sky and standing there. The dipshits mean it man, and commitment is half the battle...

ALWAYS BE TOGETHER

I got an e-mail today from someone on our office services staff. The subject was “Electric fun.”

Now, do I like me some electric fun? Fucks yeah.

I nearly sprained my pointer clicking to open it. The text was simple: “The fun will be here tomorrow.”

Again-- fucks yeah.

In a couple of beats, I remembered that I had ordered a table fan for my office.

Darn. A typo.

Anyway, I'm still holding out for some electric fun. Here's hoping you get some too...

TIME SLIPS AWAY

When I really want me some Comsat Angels, though, I turn to this, one of my favo(u)rite pieces of early 80s synth pop....

CS ANGELS IN AMERICA

Have a safe and happy 4th, 'Mericans...

THE IMAGE BREAKS DOWN

Man, assholes buy all the bumper stickers, don't they?

I'm looking at you, "Nobama."

You too "Marriage = One Man + One Woman."