ISM-SKISM GAME

Got cut off this morning by a black Prius with the following bumper sticker:

Relax; God’s in Control
Expect Miracles

First I was moderately pissed about being cut off.

Next I was angered more intensely by the shoddy application of the semi-colon. Forgive me, but it’s who I am.

Finally I was damn near enraged by the sentiment, which is pernicious bullshit...

CATAPULT

One day years ago I was playing stickball at my old grammar school. It was a nondescript summer afternoon, but for some reason a side door was open. I went inside.

I walked the hallways in a bit of a daze, as recollections both sharp and dim pinged my brain.

Of course, everything was smaller than I remembered. I stooped to get a drink from the water fountain.

Last night I was listening to “Is This It?” and, well, let’s just say I had to stoop to drink from the fountain…

HORNS

OK Rocknoceros, just stay the living fuck away from my kids. I swear, one step closer and I will give you a beat down you'll not soon forget...

BANDSTAND

Had a little listening party here at the ranch the other night, featuring Nouns by No Age and the Sun Giant EP from Fleet Foxes.

First impression: the difference between the respective discs is kind of like the difference between wanting to be like your cool uncle and dressing up in your daddy’s clothes.

Don’t get me wrong—the Fleet Foxes disc seems perfectly pleasant. I could imagine my good friend Tom the Classic Rock Fan (TCRF) digging it. But for now I'm with No Age.

Of course, my initial thoughts on OK Computer were that it was for TCRF only too, so you never can tell…

L-O-V-E LOVE, IT'S COMING BACK, IT'S COMING BACK

I bought this shirt a couple of weeks ago.

Now, as a teenage punk, I developed a considerable disdain for hippies. Not so much due to their blinkered idealism, but more for the way in which their attachment to sex and drugs overwhelmed their attachment to radicalism, and led in a straight line to discos, coke spoons, and The Love Boat.

But given the tenor of our times, I find myself in sympathy with the idea of a politicized youth movement.

The one peril that goes with the shirt? Conversations with real hippies, as I learned on a weekend walk through Georgetown...

PENDULUM

Quote of the day, from Supreme Court Justice Anthony M. Kennedy:

"The laws and Constitution are designed to survive, and remain in force, in extraordinary times."

Does this mean we can have our country back now?

Liberte, motherfuckers. Liberte...

PUNCTUATION ROCK

So the book itself was nothing to fear.

It was a fairly nuts-and-bolts description of the genesis of Neutral Milk Hotel, and the recording of “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea.”

There was one small interpretive section, for which the author nearly apologized.

The only thing that grated a little was an “alternative” reading of the opening to King of Carrot Flowers Parts 2 & 3. In case you’re not familiar, the song starts with a naked display of faith: “I love you Jesus Christ/Jesus Christ I love you, yes I do.”

The author offers a couple of commas to the atheists for whom this statement might present a barrier to engagement with the album, and turns Jesus Christ into an exclamation: “I love you, Jesus Christ/Jesus Christ, I love you, yes I do.”

Well, as an atheist myself, bear with me as I cozy up to my fellow atheists here for a second.

Hi, fellow atheists. So, um, how’s your atheism going? Been a while since we’ve spoken. How was your Generic Winter Holiday Celebration? Good, good to hear. So, anyway, about this King of Carrot Flowers Parts 2 & 3 thing. Yeah, uh, if listening to someone express their faith is a problem for you, I have a suggestion: Fuck off. Now I realize that’s not a particularly productive suggestion, but seriously, if hearing Jeff Mangum sing “I love you Jesus Christ” bars the door to your potential enjoyment of the album, then the album does not need you. You need it for certain, but I guess you’re kind of screwed there, huh? Well, take care, y’all.

EMPTY RINGS AROUND YOUR HEART

For my birthday back in January, I picked up a copy of the “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea” book from the 33 1/3 series.

And that, strictly speaking, was the last time I picked it up until this past weekend.

You see, I was a bit scared of the book. As much as I wanted to know more about “In the Aeroplane” I also didn't want to know any more than I already did.

It's kind of like how I felt about biology back in high school. I thought that to be alive is a startling and magical thing, and I didn't want that sensation to be corrupted by too detailed an understanding of taxonomies and nomenclatures.

But we grow older and recognize that willful ignorance has little to recommend it either, I suppose...

DYE MY HAIR BLUE

For your weekend consideration, three words that are not words but should be words:

Lasp.

Dickle.

Punion.