AC NEW MAN

I’m getting into Animal Collective bass ackward via Panda Bear, but if Feels is any indication, I won’t be sweating the port of entry.

Damn is this good...

THE STARS BEGIN TO TWINKLE IN THE SKY

I actually listened to Smoke on the Water all the way through yesterday, and it reminded me of everything I love about rock and roll:

An idiot can be a genius, and a genius can be an idiot. An idiot can be an idiot, and a genius can be a genius.

Any old way you choose it, my friends…

TIGER BEAT

Some random thoughts on the weekend's Deerhoof show...

• Flying and Experimental Dental School both had one fewer member than they did when the reviews were written for their respective 2008 releases. Looks like downsizing has hit third-tier indie rock, and hard…

• Satomi, Deerhoof singer/bassist, is tiny, but rocks large.

• Greg, Deerhoof drummer, is Keith Moon on a Chris Partridge kit. Careful with those sticks, Eugene.

• Greg endeared himself by introducing some acquaintances in attendance: the cousin who gave him his first album (Kiss Alive— not Kiss Alive II, fortunately), and three-quarters of his high-school barbershop quartet.

• Satomi trotted out a plush tiger mask for the encore. (The last song they played was “Basket Ball Get Your Groove Back” from the new album, so I’m not quite sure what was up with that.) It did remind me of my favorite quote from this weekend: Sebastian called to me from the dining room, where his mother was enforcing one household rule or another, and said “Daddy, I think you married a tiger!” I fell off the couch, and even Taeko found it fit to laugh…

IT'S A PRIMAL SCREAM!

Get literal, before it gets all codified and unfunny...

AGNOSTIC FRONTING

Conference today, and at some point I found myself making the following note: "Utilize precis in push?" Needless to say, 16 year-old me showed up at lunch break and kicked my ever-loving ass.

The phrase du jour (which I swear I heard five different people use)? "Content agnostic."

Don't worry 16 year-old me, I'm not going down that road...

ENGINE

That voice is still out there...

YOVNOC

C-razy!

I JUST GOT OUT MY LITTLE BLUE PILL

Geez, can't anybody sitting on their couch watching football/baseball get it up?

Because if I have to hear Viva Viagra one more time, so help me...

PS, I do still snicker at the solemn warning regarding an "erection lasting more than four hours." I'm only human after all.

COMMUTER BLUES

I tried to convince myself that traffic was moving slowly because we were all in awe of the same sunset sky, which looked like the salmon in a Zabar's case. But then I noticed in the distance a left lane clogged with police lights. I sighed and turned up the radio. Fuck, it's October again already, and the 21st century too...

LUCKY NUMBER

I have set up a tracking system at work that will reach its logical end in 73 years. As a result, if things are still being done the same way in 73 years, I have set in motion a potential problem for my robot successors.

So, to my robot successors in the year 2081: I knew damn well what I was doing, and I am laughing my ass off at you from across the years...

DON'T FORGET TO SAY GRACE

“And you tell meeee, over and over and over again…”
“………………….............over and over and over again…”

Lana was stunned when I started singing along.

“Dad! You said you didn’t know the Pessimist Song!”

“Huh?”

“The Pessimist Song. I asked you if you knew the Pessimist Song and the Optimist Song, and you said you didn’t!”

“Oh, that’s the Pessimist Song? Of course I know that—it’s Eve of Destruction. What’s the Optimist Song?”

“Last night I dreamed the strangest dream…”

Resolved: Lana’s teacher is a fecking hippie.

Anyway, I searched iTunes, and downloaded Eve of Destruction for her. We sat on the couch, and Lana sang along in a light lilting soprano that put Barry McGuire to shame…

AFTER CLASS

Random thoughts on the Chessie/Atlas Sound/Stereolab show last night:

-So, yeah, rhythm guitarist from Chessie. Um, I'm, uh, sorry that I tried to sell you my extra ticket out in front of the club. But really, how the fuck was I supposed to know?

-Chessie is an awww cute name.

-Atlas Sound is a dolphin. Doesn't look like one. Doesn't sound like one. He just is one.

-Atlas Sound coaxed some awesome noises out of this tangle of wires and diodes, a guitar, and a couple of mikes. Mesmerizing.

-Atlas Sound is a hero. Doesn't look like one. Doesn't sound like one. He just is one.

-Stereolab played a good bunch of new stuff, and just like when they were touring Fab Four Suture, they punched it up for certain.

-Stereolab were also getting all 1993 up in here, what with Lo Boob Oscillator, French Disko, Jenny Ondioline, and John Cage Bubblegum. Y'all got yr Lolla tix?

-Tim Gane busted a guitar string, and who retrieved the axe from the stage, replaced the string, and brought it back a song later? Atlas Sound, MF. Atlas Sound. Like I said: Hero...

EVERYBODY'S COMING DOWN

If you are a Mets’ fan to your core, you knew it had to end like this.

You knew that your team needed to say goodbye to Shea in a game that would see them dismiss the playoffs from their schedule on the final day of the season, for the second year running.

You knew the weather would be cloudy, and that the sun would break through, and you knew that it would rain.

I knew, because I learned a lot from Shea Stadium.

I learned early about the intimacy of failure.

I learned that men will fight like lions for meaningless things.

I learned that those same men will piss in the sink rather than wait for an available stall.

So farewell, Shea Stadium, you old son of a bitch. Farewell.

MATRYOSHKA ROCK

OK, apparently Billboard still has a top 100 singles chart.

And what's more, Paper Planes by M.I.A. is currently number 4 on that chart. It’s a wonderful song, and I’m happy for it. Plus, it’s built around a sample from Straight to Hell, so more cash for The Clash, which is good.

But it gets even better. The number 5 song is Swagga Like Us by Jay Z & T.I. Featuring Kanye West and Lil Wayne, which is built around—wait for it— a sample from Paper Planes. And I assume this somehow means even more money for The Clash.

Well, I’m pleased to announce that I’m working on a new project with Jay Z, T.I., Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Ne-Yo, T-Pain, Flo Rida, and Akon. It’s called “Uz” and it’s built around a sample from Swagga Like Us by Jay Z & T.I. Featuring Kanye West and Lil Wayne.

Because dammit man, The Clash must get paid…

BY AND BY

Dialogue from a fall festival:

“Where’s Lana?” I ask.

“Over there. They’re looking at the goat.” Taeko is ready to leave.

Six kids are sitting in a circle surrounding a very mellow goat, which is ignoring the empty wafer cones being shoved under its nose, and doing its goat-damnedest to sleep.

“Come on, Lana—it’s time to go.”

Six kids dissolve the circle in a slow wave.

“Aw, man, you broke up the goat circle.” I sound disappointed.

“What’s a goat circle?”

“It’s when you sit around in a circle and there’s a goat in the middle.”

“Is that a thing?”

“Um, yeah, it’s a thing. Goat circle? Hello?”

We Capricorns are a particular lot…

OH CANADA

This is the current greatest song ever.

My family came home tonight and found me dancing round the living room to it. Oops-- I forgot the quotes: "dancing."

Sing along now: "I spent the winter on the verge of a total breakdown/While living in Norway..."

INITIAL IT WITH LOVING CARE

I signed papers yesterday giving Taeko explicit instructions to shoot me in the head if I ever express a desire to have my shirt cuffs monogrammed.

It was a pretty easy decision, really, and I’d recommend that all you men out there designate a loved one to do the same for you.

Because it’s just the right thing to do…

UNDO THE COLLAPSE

Out, vile demons of September, 2007— the power of rap compels thee!

Strangely, George Foster (0:21) is a dead ringer vocally for the Average Homeboy.

Rafael Santana (2:09) though, is a wizard, a true star...

STLYER

There was never no such thing as an ugly Mel Stottlemyre card...

UNTITLED

Seven years...