THE 30-YEAR OLD VIRGIN

Three decades of exposure to Peg and I never realized until now that Michael MacDonald provides the backing vocals.

Dollars to donuts that Rerun knew this shit straight away...

A NAME WHEN I LOSE

Deacon Blues was one of my favorite songs when I was 12.

It had the perfect mix of fatalism and self-pity, with a hint of triumph, to suit my 1977.

It became clear in 1977 that the crush I had harbored for black-haired Shelley since the fourth grade would never be requited. I would never get closer to her affections than the jewelry box she fished from a neighbor's trash and gave me one day in 1975, with a short inscription of friendship on the back.

In 1977 I was in so many ways ready to move on, and terrified at the very thought of it.

It's a fine thing for sure to be 12...

ANGULAR BANJOS

I downloaded Aja by Steely Dan on impulse from the iTunes this weekend.

And hearing it now with relatively fresh ears, the Becker/Fagen double helix in Stereolab becomes plain...

BLACK HOLE

I DVR'd the Tonight Show last night, because the program guide said LCD Soundsystem was going to be on.

So I woke up this morning all eager, turned on the TV after my shower, and four-arrow fast forwarded my way to the end.

And what did I see?

Chris Cornell, singing some crap with his hands in his pockets.

It was like going for a nice refreshing swig of lemonade and getting a mouthful of Clamato instead.

I blame you, Leno, you motherfucker...

THE LANATICIST 2

My eight-year old daughter Lana checks in this week with her thoughts on Keep the Car Running, by Arcade Fire:

"I think this song is good for when you are riding a car."

THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

One of the first songs that I learned all the way through was Meet the Mets.

This was the pre-PC “Bring the kiddies/Bring the wife” version, and it sounded like Rheingold and sunstroke.

By the mid 70s, I had altered the opening lyrics, to reflect the fact that the team was in a torpor: “Meet the Mets/Beat the Mets/Step right up, defeat the Mets...”

I am reminded of this now because they are in the midst of an epic freefall.

And I almost wish I had never learned that damn song at all...

PROCLAIMING

Drove 500 miles to go grocery shopping on Saturday.

Sounds grim, but it weren't, mate. Went to the Mitsuwa supermarket, the Japanese used-book store, and Mars New York toy store. Got some NY/NJ pizza, and some NY/NJ bagels.

Sure, I was haverin' a bit on the way home, but a good time was had by all...

CORNERS 1

Sitting in a Tokyo hotel on a rainy afternoon, reading McElligot's Pool and listening to Deerhoof...

BLOSSOM

Things were not looking good for the project.

My wife listened to Jimmy by M.I.A., but the most she could muster was what appeared to be a very sincere “I like it.”

She said that she couldn't find any other words, so I suggested that she do it in Japanese, and then translate to English.

But in any tongue, she was blocked.

Just then, Lana stepped up, and offered to give it a go. Here is her unedited review:

“I feel like I am in a disco party. One of the expressions sounds like aliens dancing in the wind.”

So, you can be damn sure I'm now in negotiations with her to do this once a week...

LITTLE SUPERSTAR

I'm going to do my own little music genome project.

Based on her fondness for Airport by The Motors, I have a theory that my wife will like Jimmy from the new M.I.A. disc, in all its Bollywood glory.

I've asked her to listen and give me a quick review by tomorrow. Now we'll see if she can write on deadline...

APPLEPLEXY

Which iPod are you?

I am all about the 160GB Classic, which is $50 cheaper than the 16GB touch.

touch, schmouch-- gimme gigs, bitches. What?

RAKE AT THE GATES

I needed to e-mail someone by the last name of Anderson today.

So I began typing. A-n-d...

I looked up and saw that a name had been autocompleted: Anderson, Ian.

Damn you, Windows 2007 Prog Edition...

LEAVE HOME

Yesterday was Pinhead Day around the house.

Every time I turned a corner, one of the kids was shouting “I don't wanna be a pinhead no more!” or “Gabba gabba, we accept you, one of us, one of us.”

And I couldn't think of a better soundtrack for the day before the first day of school...

GIFTED AND TALENTED

Listened to Thunder, Lightning, Strike all the way through today, and, you know, there's not a duff track on there.

I suspect it's pretty much the mid-aughties version of Odelay, and will sound in the teens as artifactual as Beck does today.

But the shit/giggle factor is mighty high, so that's OK.

Now, just back away from the E-meter slowly, Go! Team kids...

HILLY

Tonight I will wear my CBGB shirt to bed.

I will dream about a bowl of Kix and a bowl of Trix.

And in that dream, I will dump the Kix in the trash.

And I will eat the Trix straight, no milk.

A transistor radio on the kitchen counter will crackle with something dumb from the ‘70s, like Paper Lace.

The bowl of Trix will shake perceptibly, and maybe a red Trix will hop over an orange Trix.

First I will be a little scared, and then I will smile.

Tonight I will wear my CBGB shirt to bed.

EN EM AITCH

My daughter was looking over my eBay watch list the other day.

She skimmed past the usual suspects-- Be@rbricks, 1971 Mets' cards in NM-MT condition, 7” singles-- and stopped at one particular item.

“What's that?”

It was a drawing by Jeff Mangum.

I explained how much I wanted one, but told her that the last one I saw sold for over $400.

“Can I see it closer?”

She put her elbows on the desk, pushed her nose toward the monitor, and considered the drawing.

“Is it so popular because he can draw like a kid?”

That's it exactly, dear. Exactly.

A HABIT THAT STICKS

Maya Arulpragasam.

I feel like I should smoke a cigarette after just saying her name...

UN CHIEN

The morning of the Styx/Foreigner/Def Lep show, I awoke with a nagging compulsion to listen to Debaser.

I think it was precautionary, kind of like dousing yourself with a thick coat of mosquito spray before you go frogging in a swamp.

I don't claim to be the biggest Pixies fan ever, but there are times when I'm convinced that Debaser is the greatest motherfucking song in the world...

HUDDLE FORMATION

Just bought five tickets for The Go! Team show on Halloween eve.

[Pointing hands out and wiggling fingers slowly] "Don't suck, Proof of Youth. Donnnnn't suuucccck..."

ROCK OF AGES

Here's the musical scorecard for the Styx/Foreigner/Def Lep extravaganza.

We got stuck in some commuter traffic out on 66, so we missed most of Styx. I heard Renegade rolling down a hill as I got my ticket scanned, but by the time I hit my seat, they were winding up with who knows what.

Foreigner, of course, opened with their customary cover of Throbbing Gristle's 20 Jazz Funk Greats, then changed things up a bit with a sweet version of Dennis Wilson's Pacific Ocean Blues. And then came the hits: Bran Barn Rabble, The Entire, Pop a Tremolo, Busty Clog Hop, Pincer Snare... well, hell, you know them all! They encored with John Cage's Atlas Eclipticalis, as the lighter flames swayed in the Virginia gloaming.

The Lep came on and rocked a mean Pop Goes the Weasel, segueing right into The Wheels on the Bus. The woman next to me nearly pissed her pants when Joe Elliott took off his jacket to reveal a sleeveless Union Jack t-shirt, and bellowed so loud they could hear him in Birmingham: “His name is my name too! John! Jacob! Jingleheimer! Schmiiiiiiiiiddddddt!” I have to admit, it was a pretty electric moment.

So for these of you haters who think the Rock is dead, well, the Nissan Pavilion had a response for you last Friday:

Not by a long shot, mister. Not by a long shot...