FIFTY ACORNS TIED IN A SACK

The five worst Beatle Number ones.

Which I realize is akin to picking the five worst $100 bills from a stack of $100 bills.

But slag I must…

5. Yesterday
The slow and “serious” song that made it safe for the bluebloods and bluehairs to indulge in a bit of Beatles.

4. The Long and Winding Road
Slathered in strings and Spector's waning relevancy. And frankly, long and winding roads make me carsick...

3. Lady Madonna
Eleanor Rigby done flippantly.

2. The Ballad of John and Yoko
Sorry, but I just can't find a reason to give a measurable fuck. Presaged martyrdom? Yawn. Dawning of the modern cult of celebrity? Strettttch. Bed-inism? Bagism? Onanism? Scratch scratch scratch...

1. Let it Be
These choices make me look like a confirmed balladophobe, but I swear that's not the case. I just don't like them when they're as cloying and unctuous as this...