NOW, THAT SIDE WAS MADE FOR YOU AND ME!

My daughter is an American citizen and a Japanese citizen.

When she comes home from school singing the Star Stangled Banner or America the Beautiful, I take comfort that the reverberating militancy and Manifest Destiny will be counterbalanced by Japanese folk songs about raccoons, kindly bears, and magic pockets. Or something.

But when she comes home singing God Bless the USA, that scary-bad piece of Reagan-era tripe by Lee Greenwood? Cut that shit out, public school system. Just cut that fucking shit out…