WON'T YOU LET ME TAKE YOU ON A SEA CRUISE?

Dear Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines,

Just an FYI that contrary to the information in the address field for all the mail you keep sending me, my name is not in fact “Dong Park.”

Close, but not quite.

However, if I do go through with my tentative plans to become a Korean porn star, it’s good to know that I have a nom de smut waiting for me.

Regards,
sliced tongue