CASH FROM CHAOS

(Turns out that Tubthumping had been used already as a theme song for FIFA 98. I have got to get out more.)

One day in the advertising office, early 2010…

Boss: OK, we need to come up with a campaign for FIFA 2011. Music ideas? Yes, Jenkins.

Jenkins: How about Tubthumping?

Boss: Tubthumping?

Jenkins: Yeah, you know (thumping his tub): “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down. I get…”

Boss: (Interrupting) I know the GD song, Jenkins. Particularly since it was used as a theme for FIFA 98. No, what we need is something equally as mindlessly Anglo and rousing, but obscure enough that music bloggers can feel self-satisfied as they point out that they recognize the song. Perhaps these bloggers will even embed videos of the group miming the song on some old show, like, I don’t know, Top of the Pops.

Jenkins: Top of the Whuh?

Boss: You're dead weight, Jenkins. Clean out your cubby.

Jones: I’ve got it, boss! How about Swords of a Thousand Men by Tenpole Tudor? It’s sort of like Skids if Skids weren’t Scottish. The singer Eddie Tenpole was once pegged as the replacement for Johnny Rotten in the Sex Pistols. He sang The Great Rock 'n Roll Swindle.

Boss: Jones, you're a genius! Cocaine for everyone, on me!