PITCH BY MY DOORSTEP

Of the several dietary oddities that dot my life, this gives some people the deepest pause: I have only ever had one sip of coffee.

One midnight on a whim I bought a brimming styrofoam cup full of the stuff, to complement my Marlboro reds. I lifted the dimpled cup to my mouth, pursed my lips, blew small ripples across the surface, wet my lips... and poured out the cup.

Just something to keep in mind as we grab a seat in the acoustic coffee house...

Wasted on the Way—CSN
Making '82 sound like '72, as if '77 had never happened.

Need You Tonight (unplugged)—INXS
Kind of slinky and sexy and minimal in its original incarnation, this unplugged version actually manages to strip it up, rather than strip it down. Should've stowed those bongos, random Farriss brother...

Long Way Home—Norah Jones
I'm sorry, did you say something?

Three Little Birds—Bob Marley
Don't get me wrong, it's a nice song. But I can't help thinking that right now there's a kid sitting in a Starbucks, tapping his foot while this plays in the background, telling his friends that he loves the “Reggie music” because it's so “happy.”

Broke Down—Slaid Cleaves
OK, I confess it took me a minute to realize that Slaid Cleaves was not the name of the song. Because I'd really be interested in hearing a song called Slaid Cleaves...

She Belongs to Me—Bob Dylan
It's fascinating that Dylan has made the trip from the early '60s coffeehouse to the early aughties coffeehouse, which are two very different places...

Possession—Sarah MacLachlan
Perhaps you'd like a little stalking with your double vente latte frappacino? Quietly unsettling, and very effective.

Grade: A rich Columbian B-