BOW WOW WOW

What’s all that barking in the Classic Rock pound?

Why it’s these puppies, who never made the upgrade from tape...

The Rolling Stones, Aftermath
Anybody can write a song about masturbation. Lord knows anybody can write a masturbatory song. But rare’s the song that is actually the act of masturbation. So a cramped thumbs-up to you, Going Home. And aside from some awkward “I am so the new Lord Byron, dammit” lyrics from Mick (“Like a withered stone/Fears will pierce your bones”), I Am Waiting sure is purty...

The Rolling Stones, Between the Buttons
The sound of life becoming irretrievably strange. One of my favorite things when I was a kid listening to my sister’s album collection was the way Mick sings the word “from” in Ruby Tuesday. It’s actually the kind of sound you’d expect to come out of the frog-like, three-quarters—dead Brian Jones pictured on the album cover...

The Rolling Stones, Beggars Banquet
This is really kind of slight, which is one of its overlooked charms. Sure, Sympathy for the Devil is all self-consciously “heavy” and Street Fighting Man is a slippery revolution, but most of the rest is loose country bluegrass and blues (and other music for urban gourmandizers). And about Street Fighting Man. Let’s take a minute to imagine what might have been if Mick had kept to his original vision. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you perhaps the Worst Lyrics Ever. Pay Your Dues:

“Chief to scorn his friends make love to his re-la-tions
He beats his wife and made her life a to-tal wet va-ca-tion

Now did everybody pay their dues?
Now did end up with tribal blues?
All the braves and squaws and the maids and the whores
Did, everybody pay their dues?

He's a tribal chief his name is called dis-order
His flesh and blood he tears it up when acting right is nor-mal

Now did everybody pay their dues?
Now did any of them try to refuse?
All the braves and squaws and the maids and the whores
Did, everybody pay their dues?

See all the children roses pi-ling
What's all with us to be grown up is to be good at ly-ing

Now did everybody pay their dues?
Now did any of them try to refuse?
All the braves and squaws and the maids and the whores
Did, everybody pay their dues?”

I mean, sweet sunstriped Jebus...

The Rolling Stones, Some Girls
Sure, they stooped to offend, sometimes to good effect (When the Whip Comes Down), and sometimes to ill (Some Girls), and the country stuff was, oom, yawn— oh, excuse me— but yeah, this was pretty decent. Call it a comeback...