DO IT CLEAN

I wrote a song in the shower this morning.

Thomas Pynchon

Thomas Pynchon does not exist.
If you think you’ve read his books, you haven’t.
If you think you’re him, you aren’t.

And if you think this is a song
About Thomas Pynchon
You’re wrong.

I wrote a song about gladiolas
And Thomas Pynchon stole it.
He’s a drunken whore and you know it.

But if you think this is a song
About Thomas Pynchon
You’re wrong.

Because Thomas Pynchon does not exist.
His library card is made of chintz,
And your imagination is a magnet.

So if you think this is a song
About Thomas Pynchon
You’re wrong.

And if you think this is the end of the song
You’re wrong, you’re wrong, you’re wrong.
It is the beginning...