IT AIN’T EASY BEING GREEN

Welcome to least-favorite-song-title week...

Skank Bloc Bologna, Scritti Politti

First things first: I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard this song.

I doubt that hearing it would improve my opinion of the title, though.

I mean, I’m sure the song is an urbane, witty, and caustic social commentary.

Or something. Sweet Jiminy Fuckit, for all I know it’s an instrumental.

But let’s diagram this.

OK, point one: Skank.

Skank is just an ugly word, independent of its meaning as a descriptor for an unwholesome woman.

And even if it’s being used more in the ska sense, it still hurts my brain.

I don’t have a connotative opinion about “bloc” but its use right next to skank only serves to bring out the ugly in it.

And then there’s “bologna”...

Yes, bologna— the most put-upon of all the pressed deli meats.

“Hey, Bologna, somebody named Tony called and wanted to know where the hell you get off rhyming with him, being spelled like that and all,” shouts Mortadella.

“Hey, Bologna, what’s your first name again?” taunts Salami.

And all the while, Head Cheese turns away silently and faces the German potato salad, weighed down with equal measures of guilt and empathy.

Bad choice, Scritti. Bad choice...